Favorite Things: Drug Quotes


“I like marijuana because I want to go to heaven before I die.” – Michael Simmons

“I used to have a drug problem…now I make enough money.” – David Lee Roth

“I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping.” – Mark Twain

“You know you’re an alcoholic when you misplace things…like a decade.” – Paul Williams

“You should just say no to drugs. That will drive the prices down.” – Geechy Guy

“I say ‘no’ to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, ‘no’.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“You may be high, but you’ll never be Johnny Cash eating cake in a bush – HIGH.” – Internet Meme


About MichelleAdmin

Michelle Wolff’s psychiatrist says she’s “very entertaining”, “a pleasure to work with” and comedy clubs across America agree. Available for hire as a comedian or emcee. Performing across the country, Michelle Wolff has been up at Comedy Store (Hollywood), Flappers (Burbank), The Pint (Chicago), End of the World Tavern (Boston), Funhouse (Portland), and you can see her locally in San Diego, every Friday Winston’s in Ocean Beach. She has been on 89.1 FM KNSJ radio and Fox Television, as the “homeless comedian”. Two guys walked into a bar – laughed their asses off listening to Michelle Wolff. Comfortable in any size venue she’s also, professional, reliable and full of fresh talent. Michelle Wolff is unusual and unusually funny.